I guess this is just another bad times in life. I cant no longer keep my feelings & thoughts alone. I chose to write as an anonymous but still couldnt get everything out of mind. Something sad & pathetic is happening to me. These days i’ve been so depressed that i wasnt able to do most thing in life. I dont talk to anyone even him. Sadly he doesnt even realize my changes. I just feel useless, unimportant to him. Even worse i think he’s changing to a person that he used to be. No effort to pay me a visit. Sometimes i wonder does he even care all the effort & everything i sacrifice for him? Something that disappoints me the most recently is the fact that he’s gonna go for an event without me. I know that the event is something so close to his passion but what’s the issue of bringing me along when i dont even mind riding with him for hours?

Sedih bila fikir aku sendiri pun tengah depressed & makin hari makin teruk. I push everything else away. My friends, my passion & hobbies. Except him i dont push him away tapi kenapa buat mcm ni. He knows i dont go out at home. Tapi bila cakap nak ikut masa tu dia tak bagi. Katanya nak pergi dengan kawan ramai2 sebab best. Selama harini aku sanggup berpanas hujan naik motor dgn dia tu tak best ke. A few weeks ago he even promised to pay me a visit before his final because im not going to KL with him. Suddenly now he forgot about it & when i asked why he cant plan to meet me dia suruh aku yg jawab. Idk i just feel absolutely stupid rn. All of this time aku ni terhegeh2 ke dekat dia? Kenapa aku je yg beria nak jumpa dia nak ajak dia pergi mana2? Tahu aku tertekan murung dekat rumah tapi takde pun nak ajak aku jumpa nak datang sini tengok aku. Alasan dia takpelah lepasni kita selalu call. Kenapa senang sangat jadi dia. Ke sebab aku ni mudah sangat untuk dia dapat? Im so broken. I cried. I wonder why this happens to me, tak pernah selama ni nak memilih bila cari partner tak pernah nak mintak yg kaya raya tapi bila aku dapat yg aku dah terima seadanya dia buat aku mcm ni. Im upset i need his presence to see him in front of my eyes kenapa dia rasa tak penting semua tu?

I dont think he cares if i just walk away & went missing forever.