A fortnight of October

Surprise surprise i thought i'm gonna leave this blog forever because i don't feel like writing. A bit curious because i always have at least one reader for each and every single post that i posted. I only come here when i feel that nobody will understand me and i don't feel like letting out my problems to anyone. Guess what i got back with him. I'm happy, perhaps? But still hating the fact that we still fight because he disagrees with whatever i say which does not even involve or relates to him. You know it's toxic when you still have doubt on your partner. I have doubt every single time we fight now. He still call me suka jaga tepi kain orang and for me that's an insult just because yesterday i posted a brief advice on how to differentiate people from being hypocrite and not to expose your bad deeds. Yes i always speak up on my opinion which i feel is related to current scenarios. I have no idea why would he read it if he thinks he's gonna hate it and attack me? I posted something like this yesterday and had to erase it last night because you know i'm tired of fighting over stupid shit like this.
"Jaga aib sendiri kalau taknak org tahu aib you. The point here is that everyone has a darkside and it's very unnecessary for you to expose it. There's a huge different between being hypocrite & jaga aib sendiri. Obviously lah org yg hipokrit ni depan org baik tapi belakang mcm setan but that only applies if the person is being judgemental too at the same time. Jaga aib sendiri is when you baik depan org & never show or post any bad things you do. There's no point for you to bark like a dog when at first place it's you who exposed your bad side to people."
I do say this somewhere to someone and they just agree with it without calling me suka jaga tepi kain org. What's up with saying me dah besar pun nak cakap pasal darkside? People made assumption on me too. Thinking i've been to clubs, get drunk and etc. Honestly i don't care what people assume about me and i just wanna highlight that i'm a person who doesn't like to show every single bad deed that i do because there's no point of me ruining my own image and reputation. Thus, i posted that as a reminder to everyone that is being friend with me and also to myself. Somehow as usual he won't accept any single explanation from me and straightly label me with so many judgement. Even call me a judgemental. If i'm a fucking judegemental person, i will even fucking curse him because i knew he still wanna do drugs. I didn't. I'm open enough for everyone but i have my preference too. Just because i wanna remind people then i deserve to be called busybody? I really don't give a fuck anymore if someone dislike me because of my opinions and thoughts. You are free to leave. I fucking hate when small things like this affect me emotionally. Why even he has to bother what I say if that doesn't even relate to him? Call my everything you want and don't blame me if i'm heartless again. I'm being considerate enough not to judge everything that you do so why do you have to judge what i do? I give you freedom but why do i can't get a freedom for me to express what i think? Is this fair huh? Scolding me for posting something which is not even offensive or harmful,that's funny. If you feel like i'm not treating you nicely well you treat me that way too. I only be nice to people who are nice to me. Thank you.